Fight or Flight
by frappingdecafs
Summary: Chase/Cam oneshot set during/after Lockdown.


**Fight or Flight  
Warnings: Spoilers for Lockdown, and very open-ended. **  
**Rating: T**  
**Beta'd by Bookwormkiwi**

"I should go." She says, but makes no move to do so.

He nods and runs a hand through her hair, "When's your flight?"

"In the morning." She flattens her palm against his chest to feel his heartbeat.

"Where are you staying?"

"I don't know," She starts, "Probably at the Hilton by the airport."

Chase hesitates, "You can stay at the condo, if you want. See how fat the cat's gotten." Cameron's body shakes against his as she laughs, "I'll sleep on the couch."

She knows she should say no, but the chance to sleep in the place she still considers home makes her thoughtlessly nod, "Okay."

She follows him in her rental car. The roads are so familiar it hurts. She watches him in his rearview mirror, wishing she was in the passenger seat holding his hand and changing the radio. Instead, she drives in silence with both of her hands tightly gripping the steering wheel.

She pulls into the space next to his. He stands on the sidewalk patiently while she gets her bag from the backseat. As he unlocks the front door, she reaches into her purse and fingers the key she never gave back.

The cat comes running as soon as the door opens, letting out a series of pathetic mews until Chase bends down and picks him up. Cameron pets his back, but all he's interested in is Chase. She stings with rejection, and even though she knows it's silly, it still hurts.

Finally he puts the cat down and replaces him with her duffel bag. She follows him into the bedroom, looking around on the way. Everything is the same - pictures are in the same places, the books are in the same order, the blanket is still hanging on the back of the couch - except it's all a bit dustier, a bit older somehow.

In the bedroom, the same sheets are messily spread out on the bed. His favorite picture of her that used to sit on the nightstand is gone now, just an empty picture frame.

He sets down her bag on the floor, "I'm gonna go feed the cat." He fumbles in the doorway, "I guess you know where everything is."

She smiles awkwardly, "Yeah."

He shuts the door behind himself, leaving her alone. She quietly opens her old drawers and finds them still empty, although she isn't sure what she was expecting.

In the bathroom, his toothbrush looks lonely all by itself in the holder. The white towels she picked out are still hanging up. There's a pile of dirty clothes in the corner, something she never allowed.

She takes a shower and uses his shampoo so that she can smell like him, even if just for a night. She wraps a clean towel around herself, rubbing her eyes with it and looking at her reflection in the fogged up mirror. She wonders if he will pick up this towel and breathe in her scent after she's gone, and finds herself hoping he does. It feels like any minute Chase will come in, pull the towel away, and take her back into the shower. But he doesn't, so she slides into her sweats and tank top and leaves the towel in his pile.

He's already curled up on the couch with the cat when she leaves the bathroom. He's set out a glass of water on the table for her. He's the only one she ever let in enough to know about her habits. She takes the water back to the bedroom and turns off the lights, careful not to wake him.

She sets the water on the dresser and sits down in the doorway between the living room and bedroom. He always sleeps so peacefully; she used to spend her sleepless nights watching him.

She isn't sure how long she sits there - knees to her chest - watching him. Finally, the tears have stopped up her throat so much that she knows a sob is coming. She barely makes it to the bathroom and shuts the door when a wrangled cry comes from her mouth. Her hands are slapped over her mouth to muffle the sound. Keeping her hands firmly over her face, she slides to the floor and cries for a while.

He wakes up to the sound of her ragged breathing. Six months ago, he would have held her and whispered soothing words into her ear while she cried, but now it seems wrong, so he clenches his eyes and tries to block out the sound.

She wakes up at ten past six with his pillow clutched to her chest. Letting it go, she leaves the bedroom. He's sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and a bag of muffins from the bakery around the corner. There's another cup waiting for her.

"Morning." She says as she sits across from him.

"Hey." He looks up and scoots the cup and bag toward her.

"Thanks." She wonders if maybe he's being so nice in effort to make her stay. But he seems content now, at peace with her leaving. This is just how he is, how he's always been. She's just forgotten.

"When do you leave?"

She checks her watch, "7."

He nods and takes a bite of his muffin. They fall back into their old daily routine; it feels as if they'll be leaving for work any minute.

She spends the rest of her time puttering around, pretending to get her things together. Really, she's just saying goodbye. Locked back in the bedroom, she takes her condo key out of her purse. She slips it off of her keyring, breaking a nail in the process. She holds it in her palm and just as she's about to leave it on the dresser, she changes her mind and puts it back in her purse. She isn't quite ready yet to give it up.

Chase carries her bag back to the car. He slams the back door and turns to where's she's standing.

"I guess this is goodbye." She feels her throat getting thick.

"Yeah." He wraps his arms around her, "If you ever need anything..."

She nods because talking would break her completely. She puts her hand behind his head and kisses his cheek. Then she slides away and opens the car door, "Goodbye, Robert."

She shuts herself in the car and bites down on her lip to stop tears from coming. He stands in front of the condo with his hands in his pockets and watches her drive away.

Cameron sits in the chair closest to the gate and watches people board the plane. When everyone has gotten on, the flight attendant comes over, "Ma'am?" Cameron looks up, "Are you getting on the plane?"


End file.
